This weekend was very interesting. After the move on Friday night, I just went home and hung out. On Saturday though, I went to a workshop with a friend of mine on Pope John Paul's teachings of "Theology of the Body." It was very fascinating. Philosophical and existential. Although some of the teachings are not meant to be ingested in such a short period of time, I can see myself studying this further and writing more about it. I would like to get into theology once I am done with my thesis. I finally reached a point where I am satisfied with where I am going to take this writing. I just need about 8 hours this week to work on it.

This weekend and next weekend will be super busy. Tonight I am helping one of my friends move in with her boyfriend and then they are treating me to pizza at this great pizza and beer joint.

Yum!

Right now, I have eaten waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much. I feel like I am going to explode.

I should be revising this weekend but it looks like Sunday will be the only time I can do it.

*sigh*

This has got to be the most played out commercial in the NJ/NY/CT area. It's so annoying, but it will stay with you all day. Not to mention, it's embarrassing and insulting to so many Latinos. The bikini clad girls repeating the number, the man dressed as a lobster. A train wreck.

The fool....

The fool is not a bad card, contrary to what images it conjures and those in the photo. Yes, the fool is blindly stepping off a cliff. But what you don't realize, is that this fool may have all the confidence in the world that he will land on his feet. The next landing may not be far down. Don't be fooled.

So I applied for a new position within the University. I am pretty excited about it, since my background here allows me an advantage as far as information and statistics are concerned. And it's also about $10,000 more than what I make now. Yes! Good incentives, so far, right? :-)

Last night, I didn't have my guitar class. I reached the high school and realized there weren't any cars around, so I knew it was definitely not happening. That parking lot is always full! I turned around and went home. I read one of the texts my professor is "recommending" for my thesis. I put that in quotes because he's actually forcing me. I don't care. I just want my M.A.

I should be...

1 - Working on my revisions for my master's thesis. But I don't feel like reading Jacques Lacan right now.

2- Making more money.

3- Looking for a new position at the university. I want something more challenging and which involves the students more.

4- Grateful to have a job. My friend is going on five months being unemployed.

5- Reading.

6- Smiling more. Lately, I haven't.

7- Working on my budget for the next two weeks. I need to figure mom's birthday gift and mother's day presents.

8- Cleaning my apartment.

9- Trying to find cheaper car insurance.

10-Ironing my clothes for tomorrow.

11- A genius by now. Being an English major entails doing research on a lot of different topics and everyone thinks it's a bullshit degree.

Tired on Tuesday

Your Birthdate: December 22

You tend to be understated and under appreciated. You have a hidden force to do amazing things, doing them your own way. People may see you as strange and shy, but they know little. Your unconventional ways have more power than they (and even you) know. Your strength: Standing up for what you know is true Your weakness: You tend to be picky and rigid Your power color: Silver Your power symbol: Square Your power month: April

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Healing...

I went to a healing mass on Saturday with my sister, mother, and niece. My niece had already been told that we were going to see an old friend of ours this past weekend. We waited on this line outside for hours, about 5 or 6, and we prayed the rosary and other prayers while we waited. My niece is only 4 years old, so when she asked my mother, "When do we get to see Ashlee* ?" We told her, "Oh no. That's tomorrow..." She actually thought we were all waiting on that long line to see her. You have to love the innocence of children. :)

Well, I have to say the abundance of faith in that church was admirable. We had a good time communing with others, all of us there for different reasons, yet united through our faith. And if you could just see the multitude of races on that sidewalk praying, you would experience the beauty of the human race, and why we fight so vehemently to protect it.

Peace and love...

Recovering Infomercial addict

This may be because I don't have the luxury to spend money on luxuries, but I have not bought an "infomercial" product in four months. I feel like I should have a pin or something. Maybe when I hit the six month mark.

My latest purchase, the Total Gym, is the best purchase I've made in terms of fitness products.
Let's see a list of things I purchased in my "heyday"

Bodyflex
This program worked while I was working it. It was hilarious to watch her go through the "exercises" though. I can't watch it without laughing so it didn't work for me.

Tae Bo
Actually, this kicks ass! I have felt nauseous a couple of times while doing it, however, I hate doing exercises from videos. I realized that after buying Yoga Booty Ballet. As fun as it is, it gets very routine after a while. I just can't seem to commit to these videos!

MaxiGlide
Love this thing! It worked miracles. If I had this when I was a teenager, my bad hair days would have been severely diminished. My hair became straight with such ease. I amazed my friends by trying it out on them. Alas, my hair straightening miracle product died in Madrid. Even with my converter, it was smoking up like Cheech and Chong. Damn European outlets!! Maxiglide, I miss you most!

SheerCover
I don't like this makeup. I always wind up looking too white every time I use it. I found some great shades from Mary Kay (shut up, it's really good!) so I am going to buy them from a woman who just recently started selling it.

I have many other products which just don't come to mind right now. I have gotten much better at doing the research before buying, and not turning on the television between 2 a.m. and 10 a.m. (infomercial hours), if at all. That and an empty wallet are motivating factors for not making those impulse purchases.

And yes, I bought the stupid making money system with Don Whats-his-face and Cindy Margolis. It was a long time ago and now I know more about the scam that's known as "turn-key" advertising. Don (Satan) should be in the cell next to Joe Francis.

El Cine...

While I enjoy the cinematic experience, I realize that there are films you can watch over and over again, and movies you can only watch once, because they are either too sad, too bad, or freak you out and traumatize you. Enjoy the following and let me know which movies are on your list...




Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (1972)

I have been working up the nerve to watch this movie as an adult, but I am not sure I will make it through. As an adult, though, I realized that this man was a pedophile and the story is a fantasy about his friend's daughter, so I was correct in my freak-out at this story and film. FYI - The Disney version didn't scare me.


I think most of the films on this list will be from the seventies. Ok, although this movie DID freak me out, I loved it! I can watch it again, I just wouldn't watch it SO often. It may make a psychopath out of you. The musical score is genius, the acting is superb. Click below, if you have the yarbles.




A Clockwork Orange (1971)


Ok, not even playing the next one I am just embedding it. I was very young when I saw this one so it just stayed in my mind.



The Exorcist (1973)

Let's lighten things up a bit, shall we? I will go into the films I can and have seen over and over again.

I have seen this film so many times, but the jokes are great and you have to watch it a few times to catch them all. Without further ado, my number one favorite...



When Harry met Sally (1989)

I will add another film, because I can do this all day. While WHMS is a rite of passage for me and the men I date, I will add a personal fave that I tend to watch over the holidays because it's like a cup of hot chocolate and I love the innocence of it.



Little Women (1994)

The score is also beautiful here too...now that I think of scores, I must add the following three...




Braveheart (1995)



The Last of the Mohicans (1992)



Legends of the Fall (1994)

I am a sucker for epics. I guess the nineties turned out some great films as well.

Hope you enjoyed my short list. That's a wrap...

dreams...

I had a dream last night that I saw John Paul the Great and Pope Benedict. It could be because I missed mass yesterday and I need to recharge my batteries. I haven't been praying the way I normally do. I go through periods like this often, but they are always disconcerting. I just don't feel like myself when it's happening.

I am staying home today, but I have my guitar class tonight. I shouldn't miss it, though I am really not prepared for it. I haven't played all week, mostly because I was reading and not feeling well so I was coming home and just lounging with my book. I am reading another book now, "Latin Satins." My friend J gave it to me but it's really not my kind of book, especially after reading "The Road." "The Road was just so profound and existential to follow up with this trite text. At least it's entertaining. Somewhat.

I am looking forward to warmer weather and the chance to be outdoors more. Winter always seems to hang on at this time of year. :-P

you can find me in the club, coughing up a lung....

So I went to this little nightclub not too far from home. When I first got there, I wasn't feeling too bad, just a little coughing here and there. But as the night went on, I got worse. I was the only woman in there with my blazer and, at times, a scarf. Who gets cold at the club? I do. Yes, it was quite a sad picture.

I hate going to clubs, I feel I have outgrown it. But it was a birthday celebration, and I did sayI would go. These people are a lot more mellow and that's why it didn't bother me to go. Being sick made it much harder though.

The guy who was supposed to be there who was supposed to be single looks like he's back with his girlfriend. They seemed all happy and I convinced myself that they were in a honeymoon period because not three weeks ago, he was single. Why he can get back with this girl and me and my hottie former flame can't when we were naturally more made for each other. Then I really began to miss my last flame. I guess it's just not my time yet. I know I am not in a rush, because for some reason, I don't think my former flame is completely out of the picture. I see him as being on hiatus. Ok, breathe. :)

I danced with one of the guys in the group who wanted to dance and we were two of the three single people around (and since the other person was a guy I guess I became his partner by default). He was very good-looking but he was a metrosexual. I could tell just by looking at him how difficult he would be in a relationship. Yes, it was that easy. My worst fears were confirmed when we were leaving and he pulled out of the parking lot in a silver BMW. Don't get me wrong, the Germans make some very nice cars. I am just not into status symbols. Though, it may also be the revealing statements I heard from him like, "I am living with my mother temporarily. I have it made, though. She does everything for me (cooking, cleaning, etc.**)," to which I responded, "Don't ever leave her, because you will have a hard time finding a woman who will do all that for you." Then I tried to make it seem like I was joking. But I really wasn't. Unfortunately, I spent what was left of my voice on a "conversation" with this guy.

Right now, I sound like a rusty little horn, so I am guessing I won't be at work tomorrow.

On another note, I just read "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy. I rarely cry when I read books, but this one was simply beautiful. I think I should start a book club so I can share my first love with others. I miss talking about novels.

**Thanks Mom, for creating an unrealistic ideal for your son. Not only will his expectations be out of whack, but he will never be able to make a woman happy, and she won't be able to make him happy.

"oops" moments...

So today I was sitting at an incredibly boring meeting when the mediator asked, "Who has a stock portfolio?" to which I suppose, no one should have raised their hand. However, I did disappoint, because I did. His response was an incredulous, "Really?" No, Mister SmartAss, I just like to be different. Well, actually I guess I do. I just dance to a different drummer, I suppose. Or maybe that's just something people say when they are just plain weird.

From that point on, my mind began to drift. I started thinking of other times I have made a semi-ass of myself. Like the time I was walking to school and saw Gus, and I kept calling out "Gus! Gus!" and finally tugged on his coat jacket when he turned and, yep, you guessed it. Wasn't Gus.
Here are some other situations I am sure you can relate to though.

The "I wasn't talking to you either" scenario:
When you see someone on the street, and you think they are saying hi to you, and you say hi back, and they were talking to the person behind you. Then you try to pretend you are talking to the person behind them.

The "Mis-laugh" scenario:
You make a joke in conversation, and someone laughs, but they aren't laughing at you. They are laughing at something else they remembered or someone who fell behind you. And you will never recapture the magic of the joke again.

The "It fell on deaf ears" scenario:
You try to ask someone a question, and they simply don't hear you at all. They walk away on you. And other people are there to witness it. Kind of embarrassing.

The "I didn't realize you were standing there" scenario:
Ok, so this didn't personally happen to me, but I recall my friend talking about a girl she barely knew shoving an engagement ring in her face when lo and behold, the girl is standing right behind her. Whoops.

Now I try not to care when any of these things happen, but I do get a little self-conscious here and there. It's always fun to chuckle at later, though. :-)

Couple hater...

I know the reason why I feel this way as I am writing this so this post will actually be evidence of my awareness rather than a self-actualization.

Sometimes, I look around and hate couples. I hate the sense of entitlement that SOME of them have, like I am so glad I have so-and-so, he's just the best. It's alienating to single people, whether they notice it or not. It's just annoying.

I realize that since I started dating (age 17), I really don't last with men for years and years. At first, I thought, "What am I doing wrong?" but then I realized that it's probably nothing. I don't waste time waiting for things or people to change. I just keep looking to grow and challenge myself. I don't think many people like to do that.

I met someone who did though. We were very happy for a few months. Then I don't know what happened. He just told me one day (in an email) that he couldn't be in a relationship and he was very sorry but he just couldn't.

Since then, it has been difficult. I am still waiting to see what will come my way next. Of course I am disappointed still, four months later. But I know I will meet someone again. Life is long when it comes to things like that.

Ok, so enough of the sappy stuff. This may be why I hate couples. But then I realize that they may be just as lonely as I am. And then I don't feel so lonely. And that's all you need.

Vocabulary necessary...

Words are the veins in a body of work, or corpus literati. Being an MA student in English, I know these things. However, we realize in every field in which we work there is a secret language which we all learn, or else suffer the consequences of being ostracized or alienated because we aren't keeping up with our colleagues. Imagine the sadness one feels at an IT meeting when someone says, "Byte me!" and you don't get it because you didn't study. Sigh. Or when they say someone has an "id-10-t" error.

I will let that one sink in.

Ok. Aaaanyway, for those of you who would like to learn a little academia lingo, read on. I do this for you, because I love you. The next black tie event you're at, make sure you throw these $10 words at 'em. Show 'em how smaaaaaaaaaaht you are:

diaspora - always used in the cultural studies context. basically, it's a race of people forced out from their homeland and spread out all over like those annoying little Styrofoam peanuts that they use to protect your packages. Try as you might, you can't get those little things to stop flying around on the floor. And two months later, you're still finding remnants, even though you have vacuumed like 5 times since then. Argh!

evanescence - disappearing; fading; I don't know why we use this word. My professor Perhaps to describe someone who is fading. I get so caught up in what it means I forget to listen to the context of the conversation. Happens often.

carnivalesque - Well I am sure you can figure that one out. I have learned in an English class, you can -esque to the end of many words and you sound super smart! Ok, now let's try it. Vonnegutesque. Kafkaesque. Ok I am saying it so much now that it sounds like it's not a real suffix anymore. Don't you hate that? Must. stop. now.

conflation - I know, it sounds like a condition related to bowel movements. It's when two ideas or items are combined, leading me to another winner, juxtaposition! Just don't say something non-intellectual, like, "See those two over there? They are juxtaposing!! I know, it's so weird, I just found out too! I wonder if they will be juxtaposing tonight..." Eh, not exactly the proper context. Perhaps something witty like, "I like the juxtaposition of grapes and cheese, for me it's the classic appetizers that gain the most appeal." Muahahaha.

axiom - a self-evident truth. Well, not much conversation there huh?

didactic - a teaching tool. So maybe something like "7th Heaven" can be considered didactic. Yes, because "7th Heaven" is a show most talked about in intellectual circles. Oh, give me a break. I am running out of material.

I think I left you with many verbal goodies. Use your smarts wisely. And remember where you learned it.

Maiden Voyage

I am afraid of commitment. Now that I have initiated my blog with a cliche I hope you will stick around to read some more of my borrowed idioms and overused metaphors. So let's see how much of a commitment I can make to this blog, since I get bored with most things rather easily. But I am learning guitar. So if I stick to this and playing guitar I should be able to make an even grander commitment one day.

I basically think of random things and need an outlet, so I am not sure how this blog will be. How can you give your blog a title when you're not even sure which direction it will go? I don't want to restrict what I will write about so we will see what develops. :-)

So my story for today. I went to the bathroom. I'm a big kid now! Bear with me, I am going somewhere with this. The bathroom at work has an automatic flusher. We even have seat covers. Please explain to me why when I walked into the stall, there was a brown streak on the seat. Ew! Ok, so not only do you not use the seat cover, which no one would be the wiser as long as you don't leave anything behind, but a brown streak?!? How can you not realize when you have shat on the seat? Furthermore, since it is in fact a streak, then wouldn't said streak be on the woman's leg or pants or whatever. I am sorry, how do you not clean up after that? If it's your shit, you should clean it. You shouldn't let someone else come into that brown mess.

From time to time, I like to let my imagination run wild. I have a coworker who is older, and she looks great for her age. I am going to guess she's fifty plus. She has a cute figure and wears wrap around dresses, heels, makeup, perfect hair you-get-the-idea.

Everytime I go to the bathroom and she's there, she takes forever to "finish up." I wonder what she does in that stall. I hear the sound of plastic ripping and adjusting of something and sometimes I just want to peek under the stall and ask, "Is everything ok?" I mean, what does she have on? I know she's probably still not menstrual. She probably passed that stage, especially based on the way she seems snippy at times. I think she is in menopause or past it. But seriously. Is it a suit of armor? Or could it be...

Adult diapers? Oh my gosh. It's either that or a girdle. Only because there is too much adjusting going on there. I don't know why I am so damn curious about this stuff, let's just say if I was a cat I wouldn't have gotten past the "kitten" stage. I'm that curious. But, I would be curious to find out what's going on in the next stall...